RiViT Jones' Diary

Monday, April 23 155 lbs. (Aughh! Suspect metabolism has not returned from Prevost wedding. Perhaps metabolism purchased a Priceline ticket.) Cigarettes: 24 but "light" brand so counts as 12; calories: 2,100; positive thoughts about job: 0; daily visits to Monster.com: 1,100 (v.v. bad).

9 a.m. Still basking in glow of Savannah, Ga., mini-break to attend nuptials of Matt Prevost and Melisa Olsen. Really lovely ceremony. Am still trying to figure out how to get future potential husband to secretly hire photographer to take pictures of proposal and give pictures to self as gift on wedding eve (in manner of Matt's gift to Melisa).

9:30 a.m. Must really get to work. Wait -- oh goodie! A message: "Ros, I wanted to let you know how thoroughly I enjoyed your spring commentary. So, Anthony Elarth came in the D&T prom? Could this mean that things are really serious? I'd like to get into your writeup so people will remember me too! Let's see: I have no kids on the way, not recently married or engaged. I work a 40-hour week before Wednesday at noon. Got a promotion? Yeah right. Have not moved into my house yet. Have not climbed any mountains. Ah hell, I guess I have not done jack since school. At least I will see you at the Smith/Cobb gala event. Hugs and kisses, Anthony Humphrey"

Replied, just to be clever, "Again, I will be there with Elarth. Perhaps the next wedding I announce will be mine to Elarth." Received immediately reply that read, "YES! I am loving that! Man, you guys are so stealth, like secret agents. My heart, love, and blessings go out to you. Keep me posted. Humphrey."

Uh-oh. Suddenly have panicky feeling that people think I am actually dating Elarth. Now am worried that Elarth will think my comments were actually an elaborate dating loophole whereby one starts dating a person simply through the power of suggestion. Auggh.

Friday, April 27 154 lbs., cigarettes: 37 (disgusting); alcohol unit: 12 (bad, but Friday so feel some sense of entitlement). 10 a.m. Hurrah! Received decidedly sexy e-mail from hottie, Ole Obermann:

"Hello lovely and talented Ros. [Yes, decidedly flirty tone.] It is so selfless of you to do this for the class. [Indeed!] Here is what I have to share: Jennie Tsai seems to really be enjoying her job. I think it might have to do with the 40 male engineers she works with. [Must remember to send resume to Jennie's company.] My roommate, Billy Morrison, has recently engaged in a fitness kick. This morning when I was leaving for work he was doing yoga in the living room on his blue mat and listening to the Brandenburg Concertos (I am not making this up). [Hmm, mental note to contact Billy to learn yoga, inner-poise or similar.] I see Derek Braddock a fair bit. He recently got a puppy, ŒElvis,' to test whether he will ever be ready to have kids. The answer is still unclear. [Wonder if Jeff and Kim Studenka have told Derek and Carrie about their Doggy Daycare: ŒYuppie Puppy'] Minesh Shah, Jill Ramsey, Jennifer Gosselin and I are all still here at Walmart.com. Things are very good relative to all of the other e-commerce companies out there. [Does this mean they are hiring?] Ted Kasten is involved a tutoring project. He is helping out a freshman engineering major at SF State. (Ted had quite a twinkle in his eye when he told me about this.) I won't have time to see the Chicago folks when I'm in town for Blair's graduation. You know how it is." [Perhaps e-mail is not sexy as previously suspected.]

3 p.m. Oh, it is so hot today! Got e-mail from Justine Dube saying it is 90 in New Jersey, and not -- Justine was quick to point out -- just because she and Kevin Harris' love is heating things up. (Perhaps being single on hot days can act as some sort of air conditioning device). Justine and Kevin had a lovely time at the nuptials of George Gauthier and his wife Ingrid on May 12 along with many. Justine and Kevin also took a mini-break in Sedona, Ariz., in the Sonoran Desert in February. Additionally, Justine was promoted after only eight months. She is the product director in charge of a $65 million stent franchise for one of J&J Cordis' medical device companies. (Have strong urge to pop Justine for being so happy and well adjusted, but really can't since she is one of my favorite people. Must only take small, but not mean, pleasure in knowledge that Justine turned 30 in May.)

4 p.m. Returned from break to find "Message Pending": "Ros--Bridget and I got married on June 24 (one week after graduation) in New York City. We were married at St. Bartholomew's (the same church my folks got married in) and we had our reception at The Yale Club. A good time was had by all, even me! Brandon Lower"

Hmph, I wonder why the announcement is so late? Could marital bliss have made Brandon forget to announce? Or perhaps he was dropped on head as child model? Think I will send Brandon and Bridget paper copy of column as appropriate gift for 1st anniversary.

4:30 p.m. Jennifer Stewart e-mailed to say that she and her family are moving to the 'burbs. Also mentioned that she would not be purchasing a lawnmower, but rather, a goat instead.

Friday, May 5 155 lbs., Cigarettes: 19; alcohol units: 5 (better); calories: 3,500 (mostly Rice Krispie Treats). 10 a.m.

Hurrah! Have discovered free Rice Krispie treats in coffee room at work. Noon Uh-oh. Have already consumed 12.

Must commit to new physical fitness regime. Yes, must resolve to be like Meredith Lincoln, Leslie Sagalowicz, Greg Acton and others who joined Team in Training to race in the Wildflower Triathlon (to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Soc.). Reportedly, they learned the fine art of fast transitions, alternate uses for Pam cooking spray, and the importance being well hydrated. Fairly certain they must have also gained inner-poise and burned off at least 12 Rice Krispie Treats each.

1 p.m. Rang Jeff Bennett to find out about getting involved in similar race in Chicago. "That's a really tough race, Rosalind. And those guys aren't saddled with your little nicotine problem." Hmph. Must also resolve to quit smoking. Again.

Saturday, May 6 155 lbs. (Could calories burned by friends' during triathlon have somehow attached to own thighs?), cigarettes: 10 (but only two smoked in front of Jeff Bennett, so v. good); alcohol units: 17 (poor); calorie: 2,000 (but have reduced Rice Krispie Treats intake significantly since it is Saturday).

8 p.m. Hosted alumni weekend party. Despite abysmal lack of planning, party was very successful. Was surprised by number of classmates who showed up. Saw Ravin, Vera Holroyd, Greg Barber, Andy Ford, Missy McCready, Sandra and Ryan, Erika Hanley as well as dozens of others.

Monday, May 8 157 lbs. (Weight gain is expected when trying to quit smoking, right?), cigarettes: 0; pieces of Nicorette gum: 120; calories: 2800 (poor); minutes spent working on actual job responsibilities: 23 (bad); minutes spent staring at graph of current debt situation: 187(v. bad); minutes spent sorting through and returning e-mails from friends: 1031 (v.v. bad).

9 a.m. Have rolled off project and am "on the beach." Resolve to get staffed again immediately on project that will utilized Oprah Winfrey-learned lessons, such as "living best life."

9:15 a.m. Asked to review middleware merger integration issues in the soybean industry. (Don't think this is best life).

10 a.m. Am drowning phrases like "rationalize database architecture" and "soybeans are a versatile food product." Will just take short break to check e-mail.

11 a.m. Went to visit Marty Rubinstein and Ivan Espinosa del los Monteros' company Web site (showmania.com). V. impressive. Despite own abysmal Spanish skills, was able to make out several key words including "jefe ejecutivo" (Ivan) and "zar de operaciones" (Marty). Most impressive!

1: 05 p.m. E-mailed Judy Lin to find out why TBS starts all of its shows at five minutes after the hour. Judy just started fabulous new job at Turner Entertainment in Atlanta.

1:35 p.m. E-mailed Susan Mosley to point out that a wheelhouse is really not a house at all, but in fact a Winnebago.

2:10 p.m. E-mailed Kendra Stearns to find out if Velveeta is actually colby, swiss, and cheddar, blended altogether. (It is.)

2:25 p.m. E-mailed Kate Downes to see if quality is truly job one." Kate responded: "Rosalind, I don't know about quality. My current Œjob one' is mediating a fight that has broken out on the assembly line between (honest to God) a line employee who farts constantly and the surrounding employees who don't like it much. Union regulations are unclear on this matter. Regards, Kate"

3:15 p.m. E-mailed Kelly Ladiges to ask if people, when they open up the consulting section of the Boston Yellow Pages, think Boston Consulting Group is a generic consulting firm. (They might.)

3:50 p.m. E-mailed Kim Baldini to determine if diamonds are a girls best friend. (They're not.)

4:40 p.m. E-mailed Sue Allshouse to see if now it's gotten interesting. (It hasn't.)

4: 55 p.m. E-mailed Andy Kelly to find out where he wants to go today. (Home.) (Me too.)

Wednesday, May 9 155 lbs (better), cigarettes: 0 (excellent); calories: 1700 (perfect); Rice Krispie Treats consumed: 1

3:19 p.m. Finally sent out email for updates. Oh goodie! 17 responses already! 3:21 p.m. 13 "Out of Office" auto-replies and 4 "Address no longer valid." Dur.

Thursday, May 10

9 a.m. Finally got some real responses. Received funny riddle from Sandra Michelin: "What do you get when you cross the LAHIMA party with Hoot for the Homeless? Or how about this: what's green and yellow and six-sigma all-over?" Hmm, very strange. Must remember to ask Ryan Ehert for answers.

10 a.m. Lara Hood Balazs is has a cool new job at the GAP. Jonathan Mugler claims Abercombie is just as cool. (Suspect Columbus, Ohio, may not be). Tom Tezawa is also working for GAP, in the Old Navy brand doing strategy and finance. Must send resume to Tom for job as Old Navy spokeswoman.

11 a.m. Received sweet note from Kristin Nelson. She and husband Chris moved to Seattle after she accepted a job a VC firm. "I'm learning a lot and loving the people I work with, which is just about all I could ask for." Realize I could ask for those things from my job but would probably not get. Additionally, Kristin is living in most charming, old homesteader's house (like "Little House on the Prairie" or similar?) and there is a lab puppy in mix. Wonder when, exactly, Kristin absconded with my dream life.

Bill Feinberg replied, "Started a new job at Microsoft last week. Before that, I took a couple of great trips: Chris and Julie Swenson, Fernando Acosta- Rua, Zach Gund, Jim Beakey, Cristina Cooper and I went to Hong Kong for Adrian Li's wedding (which was unbelievable). Also, Bob King, Ricardo Balazs (Lara Hood's husband) and I went helicopter skiing in British Columbia."

At Holly Bruno's bridal shower, after countless "ahhs" from pastel colored gifts, she opened up a gift to find, laying in blood-red tissue paper, a lace bustier, thong and stockings, a black handled whip with red leather tassels and a matching pair of black and red velco wrist cuffs. (Suspect that this gift says more about the woman who gave her the gift Tanya Smith, than it does about Holly. Am pretty sure that anyone who witnessed the dynamics of "Team Wood" on the Costa Rica GIM trip would agree.)

Ariane Gorin was accepted into BCG's Ambassador Program and will be moving to France in the fall for an 18-month stint in the Paris office. Andres Franco, Carolina Castillo, Karina Rufino, Chris Roettele, Manthos Kallios, and Oscar Rodriguez met up to spend time reliving the "Holiday Inn-style" partying in Madrid's hottest night spots.

5 p.m. Received a most exciting note from Doug Beekman: "I'm still working in VC here in Tampa where no one visits (is it the city or is it me?) I mean, Tampa is the hottest city on central Florida's western coast. If anyone is ever in the general vicinity, even if you never really liked me, stop by. I could use the company. Look for news regarding a Donut reunion tour."

Can it be? Forbidden Donut is reuniting? Yippee! (V. excited about prospect of seeing Matt Fortuin in Krispy Kreme jumper!) Cannot wait!

Wednesday, May 11 158 lbs. (Can it be that obsessing about Forbidden Donut has similar effect to eating one?)

Perhaps should quit job and act as tour manager or similar. Will start putting together World Tour schedule right now to get head start on new job. Summer Concert Schedule: Europe -- Madrid (Ivan Espinosa, Andres Franco and Oscar Rodriguez), Paris (Serge Vidal and Ariane Gorin). Asia/Manila (J-ann Rivera), Hong Kong (Adrian Li). North America -- Meadowlands Arena, N.J. (Melissa da Sylviera, Cindy Chao, Dan Schumann, Niraj Singh, Justine Dube, Kevin Harris, and George Gauthier), Kingdome Stadium (Andy Kelly, Kate Brustad, Lynn Miller, Erin Kenny, Bill Feinberg, Kristin Nelson), South America -- Lima (Jennifer Bracale Woomer and Rob Woomer).

3:30 p.m. How could I forget to mention Liz Kaiser's 30th birthday party (March 10)?

To review: 148 lbs (excellent), alcohol units: 14 (but metabolize alcohol faster when self is hostess); cigarettes: 0 (that I can recall); interesting new men met: 4 (v. good); men who turned out to be gay, married or confused: 3; dates made: 1 (hurrah!); hangovers incurred: 0; tinfoil crowns regained: 1.

6 p.m. Have not thrown a party for so long that may have forgotten how. Suspect tinfoil, "hostess-with-the-mostest" crown is lost, or at least crumpled in some obscure corner of closet. Tonight will be fabulous 30th for Liz and grand comeback for self. (I hope.) Have decided to hire hip college kid to play DJ (will have added benefit of keeping Jeff Studenka from DJ role and playing repeated Enya tracks).

8 p.m. Scored coup with several visiting celebrities including Cristina Cooper, Catherine Cox, and Zach Gund, as well as series regulars including Angie Smith, Darryl Cobb, Kate Downes, Mtu Pugh, Chris Parisi, and Tanya Smith and cast of thousands.

8:30 p.m. Imagine self as gracious hostess receiving gifts in manner of Martha Stewart or similar. Among best gifts included a multi-colored, perfectly molded, Jell-O marshmallow dessert from Megan Campbell and Graham Officer. Kendra Stearns brought her cousin, who brought a tree -- a small tree, but a tree, nonetheless. When it starts to get too large, must ask Jennifer Stewart to loan me her goat.

10:30 p.m. Oh-no! Apparently, do not possess enough sub-woofers (or whatever) to keep the stereo from over-heating and young, hip college kid has now discovered how un-young, un-hip and un-cool I really am. Fortunately, have already served enough liquor such that guests can dance to the pounding in their heads.

2:30 a.m. Thank god Steve McLaughlin and Sue Allshouse had the presence of mind to bring extra beer. Must remember that not all party-goers live on own strict diet of Cosmopolitans and stuffed mushrooms.

Friday June 1 151 lbs. (have been exercising and eating well); cigarettes: 0 (as bad for imaginary baby); alcohol units: 0 (ditto); babies had by self: 0; babies had vicariously: 4

10 a.m. Today, will tackle baby announcements. Will ignore loud ticking sound emanating from self.

10:30 a.m. Let's see. First, Jennifer Stewart gave birth to Liam Michael on Feb. 16. (Fondly recall during school when Jennifer gave birth to her daughter, Lizzy, on a Monday, and managed to be back by Thursday to give a presentation in Spreadsheet Modeling. Kim Baldini and I had just been, up until that moment, congratulating ourselves for making the 1 p.m. class. It took a good 10 minutes to scrape our jaws off the floor.) Simon Feiglin and his wife had a baby boy, Drew, on Feb. 24. Says that they are living in Cleveland and despite the city's reputation, having a blast. 11 a.m. Fought strong urge to register self and future child on "Babiesrus.com."

11:30 a.m. Dave and Amy Skena had a daughter, Madeline Kate. Jim and Courtney Keating had a son, Jack Gilbert, on April 11. "Life has changed in an incredible way!"

Craig MacNaughton called to say he joined Household Retail Services (HRS) in January as director of strategic partnerships. His specific responsibilities include managing and developing e-commerce merchants.

Noon Rang Elarth to tell him I might need him to father my children, dating loophole or not.