EMP61 Goes Batty at Sluggers

Chicago, IL: An EMP61 outing wreaked havoc on another otherwise quiet Chicago neighborhood on March 3, 2004 as the group (some say it was a gang) descended on Sluggers, the famous sports-themed bar located across from the entrance to Wrigley Field, the home of the even-more-famous Chicago Cubs. Unfortunately, proximity to a major league ballpark did little to improve the skills of EMPers who took turns acting out their Sammy Sosa fantasies in Sluggers’ batting cages. At times the silence of whiffing was positively overwhelming. Fortunately, no serious injuries, other than to ego, were reported.

During an evening filled with fun and food, many members of the class displayed their arcade gaming skills. Others chose to mimic chimps stoked with Mountain Dew while hooting it up on the trampolines. The more laid-back EMPers saved themselves for dancing amid the Rastafarian rhythms at the Wild Hair bar.

Crowds gathered to watch EMPers go head-to-head at Skeee Ball or basketball, particularly when Jon Nudi started nailing incredible swishers from as far away as six feet. Other popular games included Decapitation Air Hockey, courtesy of Andrea Kallies, and Billiards to the Death by Don Ryan. Being the competitive group they are, EMP61 could not help but turn innocent county fair arcade games into contests of strength, will, (wo)manhood, and ultimately, sobriety. The raucous crowd virtually owned Sluggers’ second floor.

Doug Witmer was overheard challenging fellow classmate Guy Ponticiello to beat his score on the skiing machine. “You can’t touch me . . . I’ll shred you like incriminating Enron documents,” taunted Witmer. Ponticiello was not intimidated as he deftly dodged obstacles, other skiers, and otherwise unhelpful classmates loudly pointing out both on the video screen in from of him. Ultimately, the two skiers succumbed to exhaustion and called it a tie. We've been told that Saturday morning classes started way too early for some EMPers. Sounds like the definition of another successful outing to us.

(March 5, 2004)