Booth Unearths Shiny, Magical Talisman; Uses it for Personal Gain

Evanston, IL: During a 4:00 a.m. run on the Northwestern campus, EMP61 student Mike Booth heard a flanging noise floating on the icy wind inward-bound from Lake Michigan. Intrigued, he slowed his pace and crept toward the source of the otherworldly tone. Then he saw it. Shining like a plastic conference badge reflecting the light from a camera flash was his destiny--the object he later dubbed "the magical talisman." (Fellow EMP’ers report that Mike also repeatedly calls it "my precious" as he cradles and caresses it with his fingers.)

Not impressed with the talisman itself or its mysterious possibilities but generally fond of shiny objects, Mike picked it up and continued his run. He noted that after returning to his room to shower he thought to himself, "Damn, my room's a mess." At that instant, exactly 9:00 a.m., he heard a

knock at the door followed by an accented voice speaking the word, "housekeeping." He opened the door to find a figure dressed in blue. "Wait a minute," he said to himself, "I've heard of blue angels. Is she one of them?" She interrupted his thought by asking, "Would you like me to clean your room?" Mike was floored. Had the magic talisman actually fulfilled his wish? "No way," he thought, “must be coincidence. "No thanks," he replied to the apparition at his door.

Although still unbelieving, Mike decided to attach the talisman to a Kellogg lanyard and hang it from his neck. Later that morning, Professor Tybout disrupted Mike's thoughts of "my precious, my birthday present, she wants to steal it from us . . ." by displaying a package that Calyx & Corolla just delivered to the Allen Center. Mike thought, "I wish I could have that package." No sooner had the words crossed his

mind but Professor Tybout, uncharacteristically dazed while holding the package in her hands, stepped toward Booth and handed him the package. He unwrapped it, revealing a beautiful plant. Now the world was his proverbial oyster.

Still unknown to Mike or researchers at Northwestern University is whether or not the talisman can make Booth invisible to the naked eye. He noted, "I hope to God that this shiny thing will make me invisible so I can use it to escape that loudmouthed study group of mine."

(February 21, 2004)